Recently, I was chatting with my husband about grief. My grief in particular. I told him that every time someone I love dies, a piece of me goes with them. I’m not whole anymore and I’m not the same person I was before all of the loss. He had a difficult time understanding. Fortunately for him, he’s never experienced grief or loss. The people he loves are still thriving. He’s lucky for that.

In the last ten years, I have lost my dad, my great-grandma, my grammy, my mom, and my childhood dog. It feels as though as soon as I barely come to terms with my loss, I lose someone else. (I told my Grampa that I can’t handle any more loss for at least a decade and he said he’d already made that pact. Which, is totally unfair, I know, but it still felt comforting.)

I know that my story isn’t unique. People suffer losses way worse than mine every single day. But damn, it still sucks. And I’ve found that grief not only pertains to people we have lost, but to dreams as well. Or goals. All of these losses shape you. They’ve shaped me into someone I, at times, don’t recognize. I’ve always been a bubbly, social butterfly kinda girl, but some days I feel more like flat champagne. And no one wants to drink flat champagne. Gross.

Then, I came across an interesting post talking about how grief changes your brain. Literally.

Grief is a complex emotion that can, in fact, deeply impact your brain. (So I’m not insane for thinking I’m different now than I was then.) When someone experiences loss, especially the death of a loved one, the brain undergoes significant changes. Studies have shown that grief can affect the brain’s functioning, leading to difficulties in concentration, memory, decision-making, and emotional regulation.

The stress associated with grief can also trigger the release of cortisol, known as the stress hormone, which can have long-term effects on the brain. Over time, grief can reshape neural pathways, potentially leading to symptoms of anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder. Isn’t that unbelievable yet totally believable? There was a time after my dad died where I couldn’t look at pancakes without bursting into tears because they were something he made every Sunday for breakfast.

It’s essential to recognize the profound effects of grief on the brain and seek support to navigate this challenging emotional process.

Here’s more about how grief changes your brain:

Anyway, if you want to read a bit more into one of my experiences with grief, here’s a short story I wrote inspired by the night I lost my dad. Oddly enough, it’s the highest performing short story on my website. And in other exciting news: it’s part of a collection of short stories, titled Thirteen Emotions, that I’m publishing soon! It’ll be available on Amazon and through my bookstore.

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